If you have not had the chance to check these live streams out, take a look. Some of these are great.
69mainstreet | sex toys | intimate pleasures
Now this is a must have for your iphone
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69mainstreet | sex toys | intimate pleasures
So we’ve debated whether or not we would date someone who weighed less than us (twice), but what about dating a guy with a lower sex drive?
The stereotype is that it’s always the guy who initiates sex and the girl who turns him down. Well, contrary to popular belief, not every college guy is looking for some sexy time. [Yes, these mythical beings do exist and, as luck would have it, I got stuck with one.] Seriously, my boyfriend has the nerve to call me a “hornball” for all my honest efforts to get him laid.
Case and point: Everyone knows that home movie nights are the best times to get a little groping action going on, but my attempts at playful fondling always end with a humiliating, “Why don’t you ever just want to cuddle and watch the movie?”
I do want to watch the movie, you idiot. It’s called multi-tasking.
I just don’t get it, it’s not like he’s gay. He’s not a prude either. We’ve done it in a public park, for goodness sakes (a story for another time). And he definitely isn’t saving himself - a little too late for that one, bucko. So I’m forced to chalk it up to a lower sex drive, which seriously sucks for me and my libido.
Plus, do you know how seriously damaging it is to your ego when you’re scantily clad in lingerie and your man turns you down? Talk about humiliating. I love him but, dammit, a girl’s got needs.
What about you? Would you date a guy with a lower sex drive? Is love (not the physical kind) enough to satisfy you?
69mainstreet | sex toys | intimate pleasures
Don’t ask how (no, I wasn’t Googling “chair sex,” or “furniture to do it on”), but I came across this site recently and was instantly intrigued.
The Tantra Chair is used to practice the amazingness of Kama Sutra. It’s shaped like a funky wave to help position yourself properly for ultimate pleasure. Don’t know anything about Kama Sutra? Well, you’re missing out. Lucky for you, the site also has a guide to tons of fun positions to enjoy on this lovely piece of furniture. (Warning: there is some nudity…and it’s kind of graphic.)
If I had the place and the money, and - oh yeah, the boyfriend - I would definitely invest in this contraption. Kama Sutra is already saucy enough, but throwing in a new toy (or chair) to aid the process just takes it to a whole new level! And it looks like a couch so you can definitely pass it off to your parents as some piece of artsy fartsy furniture you found on Craigslist.
Doing the nasty on a flat surfaced bed is so last year. This gift from the sex gods will have you in positions you never thought possible on a futon.
Check it out they are pretty funny
cracked.com/article_17206_10-most-perver
Jillian Maddison, pop culture blogger
Rachael Cantu, singer/songwriter
Amber Tozer, comedian
Elisha Lim, comic artist
ttp://www.afterellen.com/people/2009/3/q
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The first and only female Iron Chef on Food Network’s hit show,
Iron Chef America, Chef Cat Cora (www.catcoracooks.com) today announced she is 4-1/2 months pregnant with a boy.
For the 41 year old Cora, this is her first pregnancy and the fourth child for the Cora family.
Cat and her partner, Jennifer, have two sons plus Jennifer will deliver their third child, also a boy, in April.
“Jennifer and I are thrilled to go through the wonderful experience of pregnancy together. We started the in-vitro process 5 years ago,” said Cat who is due in July. “This has been a miracle for us and we’ll now have 4 beautiful children.”
Together for nearly ten years, the Cora’s share a unique family story in which both women have carried the other’s biological child.
Cat’s pregnancy is a result of in-vitro fertilization with Jennifer’s embryo. The couple’s sons, ages 5 years and 23 months, were both carried by Jennifer. She was artificially inseminated for her first pregnancy, but the second she carried to term using Cat’s embryo. In Jennifer’s current pregnancy, both women’s embryos were implanted, so the biological mother is unknown. They do not to plan to conduct DNA testing to determine the baby’s biological mother.
- Image via Wikipedia
Each of the couple’s children was conceived through insemination or in-vitro with the same anonymous sperm donor, making the children biological brothers.
Cat, who was raised in a food-loving Greek family in Mississippi, recently launched CCQ (Cat Cora’s Que) at Macy’s new Signature Kitchen restaurant in South Coast Plaza.
Cat grew up with her own unique barbeque traditions and continued to explore and expand on them as a chef. CCQ is designed as a fast casual concept and the food defines Cat’s passion for global BBQ, offering various sauces and flavors.
In 2006, Bon Appetit magazine bestowed her with its Teacher of the Year Award and named her Executive Chef.
Cat is also a two-time author and philanthropist, founding and presiding over her charity, Chefs for Humanity (www.chefsforhumanity.org). Her latest book, Cooking From the Hip: Fast, Easy, Phenomenal applies her “go with what you’ve got” philosophy to create simple, sensational meals.
http://news.prnewswire.com/ViewContent.a
69mainstreet | sex toys | intimate pleasures
by Scott Stiffler
EDGE Contributor
Monday Mar 9, 2009
Do you believe that churches and religious organizations should be forced to hire homosexuals? Do you agree that Christians should be arrested for speaking against homosexuality in public places? Should children in public schools be taught homosexuality is normal, acceptable, and equal to the traditional marriage of a man and a woman?
No, it’s not some spooky-assed Christian variation of a Jeff Foxworthy "You Might be a Redneck If. . ." comedic routine. In fact, it might be amusing if it weren’t taken from the pages of an actual website.
The website? SilencingChristians.com.
The people behind the website? The American Family Association, self-anointed watchmen of all things liberal and gay.
The origin of these cleverly phrased but ultimately deceptive questions? A survey designed to fire up the AFA’s target audience - who, one presumes, has just watched Speechless: Silencing the Christians. The hour-long documentary style film purports to reveal how the mainstream media and Hollywood are conspiring with those dreaded LGBTs to bitchslap all things Christian. The homosexual agenda, they warn, seeks nothing less than to criminalize free speech as practiced by traditional family-oriented Christians.
By the film’s end (depending upon your disposition), you’ll either be a fired up Christian soldier ready to man the front lines of the culture war by making a tidy donation to the AFA. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, you’ll have renewed dedication to living life as a man who likes to get it on with other men (a mortal sin which, try as they may, retains its patina of naughtiness and fun no matter how much it’s portrayed as a shortcut to the flaming lakes of Hades!). Either way, it’s worth watching - if only to be aware of the arguments and techniques being used as fundraising-oriented weapons against the LGBT community.
But what’s so bad about a little film that plays "hide the facts" while casting the first stones of sin upon homosexuals? EDGE asked a panel of more moderate academics and religious types.
The answer: "Plenty."
But first, a disclaimer: Many, many, many attempts were made to secure the participation of both the American Family Association as well as the film’s host, Janet Parshall, (her website).Although Edge was able to speak rather cordially with the AFA’s Cindy Roberts (Director of Media & Public Relations), she was ultimately unable to get anyone to speak with us. Repeated calls to Parshall’s booking agent/lawyer/husband went repeatedly unreturned.
The AFA uses homosexuality as a reliable, effective fishing lure for donations, notes Rev. Jim Merritt, Marriage Equality Coordinator for the Global Justice Team of the Metropolitan Community Churches. Invoking the word regardless of context is, says Merritt, "a huge fundraising mechanism; one of the issues that stir up their constituency." After valiantly viewing all sixty minutes of "Speechless: Silencing the Christians," Merritt noticed there was "a place to register. It’s the first thing at bottom, a Donate button. Even at the end of the movie, there’s a clear message about how imperative it is to donate money."
For those who’ve been keeping tabs on the AFA, finger pointing and fundraising are familiar techniques. Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson, Moderator and Presiding Bishop of Metropolitan Community Churches, points out that the AFA "has been a longtime purveyor of both misinformation as psychology and theology as it pertains to LGBTs." The cumulative effect of their efforts (at least on their constituency) has "greatly contributed to homophobia and the body of misinformation which continues to get circulated about same sex marriage and reparative therapy. They are using bogus science to prop up their point of view."
But why is hating on the gays so good for business?
"There is this odd projection that goes on among groups like this." observes Wilson. "It’s the way they raise money. People project a lot of their anxiety about sexuality onto gays and lesbians." Staring at a projection of your own anxieties, she says, distracts one from the unpleasant business of facing one’s own transgressions and shortcomings. Want to be a champion of the family unit? "Look at the heterosexual divorce rate." recommends Wilson. But where’s the fun in that?
Kenneth Sherill, a professor of political science at Hunter College, is another brave veteran viewer of "Speechless." His assessment? "It’s the kind of thing that would have made Joseph Goebbels proud." Producer Dan Scalf and editor Scott Zachry have manipulated facts and footage to promote the AFA’s intellectual agenda - not at all unlike how Goebbels and the Nazi party used film as a stealthy tool of propaganda.
The film, says Sherrill, "uses distortion and truth fragments -- where they tell you part of something or re-route the material that would enable you not to be scared." Merritt cites the film’s best example of this technique in its use of the Philadelphia 11.
Not too proud to name themselves in a manner that references those 60s liberals, "The Chicago Seven," members of the "Philadelphia 11" were arrested on October 10, 2004 when they were arrested and jailed overnight for ignoring orders to move as they conducted a highly vocal protest during the city’s OutFest event.
Although the AFA’s online survey coyly asks us if we "agree that Christians should be arrested for speaking against homosexuality in public places?," it fails to mention the specifics of this incident - or the fact that charges were ultimately dropped against the protesters. For a full account of the "facts" from a conservative Christian website as well as the HRC, PhillyVictory.php and hrc.org/issues/4856.htm.
As for the incident’s use in the film as an example of Christians being muzzled by the powerful homosexual lobby, Merritt notes that the protesters were hardly the shrinking violets they portray themselves as - there only to bring scripture and witnessing to the gays.
Merritt: "The film shows you the Philadelphia 11, then the survey asks do you believe Christians should be arrested for speaking against homosexuality. In fact, they were arrested for trying to incite a riot. I’ve been to Pride events all over the country where they scream and yell and get in people’s face and it ends up with people being angry and aggressive on both sides. I am a Christian, and I don’t want to be arrested for speaking the truth; but I also want to be smart about it and do it in ways that are not going to incite violence on either side."
The film certainly scores sympathy points when it trots out two elderly women who were part of the Philadelphia 11. One notes "We hadn’t done anything wrong. I was handcuffed and accompanied the other people into the paddy wagon." The other sadly confronts the fact that she’s just been charged with "Three felonies? I just couldn’t imagine; just for trying to share the gospels."
From the dramatic testimony of sympathetic souls, to the music and editing, Sherill observes the skilled way the AFA has contextualized the debate "in the guise of a documentary or news show. That gives it this aura of authoritativeness and professionalism when it’s basically an infomercial." The key to propaganda, he notes, "is to repeat a message so that it not only becomes believable. Because you’ve heard it so many times, you shut out any competing messages. If you say something often enough, people will believe it’s true no matter how fantastical it is. It’s presenting hysteria in this guise of mild mannered, cool professionalism and it’s made for the gullible."
The Gay Agenda
Want to play a drinking game that will have you loopy within the film’s first five minutes? Then by all means, down a shot every time you hear the phrase "homosexual agenda" or a reference to what the AFA credits as that dark movement’s ultimate handbook.
"After the Ball," published by Doubleday in 1989, was authored by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen. According to the film, these "two homosexual activists" used the book to lay out "powerful and sophisticated propaganda techniques to manipulate people into accepting the homosexual lifestyle." As the film would have us believe, the book is used to this day as a blueprint for adopting sly public relations and advertising techniques in the service of advancing the homosexual lifestyle. "Speechless" narrator Janet Parshall often makes this accusation while failing to acknowledge the irony that the very film she’s in is following the book’s strategies - without the ugly consequence of being seen as advancing the "Christian agenda."
As for co-author Madsen, he blogged on the topic: "the religious right have been treating us like the Elders of Zion ever since the book first came out, which is preposterous. While the book was widely read I see no evidence that the book itself serves as any kind of reference for the movement today. Our work seems to have had little actual influence. To keep insisting that it did is yet another sign, as if we needed any more, that agitators on the right, while professing their commitment to truth, lack fundamental intellectual integrity. "
Impact and Action
If the fact that this film is out there in the Internet ether working its propaganda magic upon deep pocketed conservative Christians has you all in a tizzy, then the words of a Christian film reviewer might calm you down; at least enough to get your shopping done.
Greg Wright, Managing Editor of hollywoodjesus.com, says the film is something he’s heard the odd reference to, "but it’s not something people are paying a lot of attention to in the broader Christian community. My dad’s really on top of what happens with the AFA and when anything gains traction there, he’s at the forefront of forwarding contacts and info to me, and on this one he hasn’t. My guess is it’s not gaining the kind of attention that other AFA major issues have." Wright, who describes himself as circulating "more on the periphery of the Christian Community" says he’s "Not tied into that stuff. But when something gets a big buzz, it circulates out of the periphery and we get wind of it." Thankfully, news of "Speechless" has yet to drift into his general field of awareness.
An interesting footnote to the broadcast of the hour-long special on stations throughout the country beginning last month came when a Michigan station, WOOD-TV of Grand Rapids, Michigan, decided not to broadcast it after protests from the HRC. But, true to form, the American Family Association of Michigan, immediately claimed the canceling was part of that omnipotent gay media conspiracy when it was revealed that Trevor Thomas, the deputy communications director for the HRC in Washington, D.C., once worked in WOOD-TV’s newsroom. "Gary Glenn, president of AFA-Michigan, said in a statement to WOOD-TV General Manager Diane Kniowski that he originally suspected the cancellation was merely a matter of political correctness, but now wonders how deeply the connection runs between Thomas and the station," reads a press release from the AFA of Michigan.
"That new information," Glenn continued, "leads us to question whether the real story is that WOOD-TV management was unduly influenced by or even acted in collusion with a former high-level staffer who you allowed to openly campaign for homosexual activists’ political agenda while with the station and who now promotes that agenda full-time nationwide."
As for what "mainstream" Christians and gays can do, Merritt recommends we all "follow their example, regarding the film’s wedge issues such as same sex marriage, public education, protest and reparative therapy. "Stand up and speak up. Call our members of congress and senators and get involved. I’m going to send a link to my friends, because I think it’s important for us to realize that the radical Christian agenda is so anti homosexual. We have to be as involved in political processes as they are, and their suggestions are good for us, too."
Scott Stiffler is a New York City based writer and comedian who has performed stand-up, improv, and sketch comedy. His solo shows include Damaged by the 70s and An Evening With Insane Mark Twain & Dead Bette Davis. He must eat twice his weight in fish every day, or he becomes radioactive.
By Consumer Reports
Feb 9, 2009 - 1:37:04 PMexually Active Americans Put Off Sex Because They're Too Sick or Tired
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Of Americans who are sexually active, 78% say the economic crisis hasn’t had an affect on the amount of time they spend in the bedroom.
The nationally representative poll, which included 1,000 U.S. residents, was conducted by the Consumer Reports National Research Center. Here are some of the key findings, plus tips for sleepy Americans.
· Of those who said they were sexually active, turns out a little planning goes a long way. Forty-five percent told Consumer Reports they’ve planned a time to have sex with their partner. And seven percent of this group used an electronic calendar, PDA, or smart phone to do so.
· Twenty percent of this group also said they missed work to keep an appointment for sex. Thirteen percent said they missed out on time with the kids and nine percent cancelled a doctor’s appointment.
· Asked about Valentines Day, 47% of Americans said President Obama should stay focused on national priorities, such as the economic crisis gripping the nation, while 45% said he should reserve time to be with the First Lady.
· Nearly half of U.S. adults will spend less money this Valentine’s Day but 80% say the economic crisis has caused no change in how often they have sex.
· And there continues to be an apparent disconnect between men and women when it comes to sex. Nearly 60 percent of the sexually active men polled by Consumer Reports said they think about sex at least once a day, compared with only 19 percent of sexually active women.
· Overall, a similar percentage of men and women seem to be satisfied with their sex lives. Specifically, sixty-six percent of men and 58% of women told Consumer Reports they were satisfied with their sex lives.
Tips for Sleepy Americans
The Consumer Reports Health poll found that 53% of sexually active Americans are putting off sex because they’re too tired or need more sleep. Too little sleep is more than a nuisance; it’s a health threat. Not getting enough sleep can increase the risk of illness, weight gain, auto accidents, and even death. Even a half-hour of lost sleep is enough to blunt an individual’s problem-solving and verbal skills, reaction time, and stamina. Here are some tips for better sleep:
Use your bed only for sleeping or sex.
Keep the bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. And don’t watch TV from bed. If you have to, remove the tube from the bedroom.
Don’t nap. Instead, try climbing into bed a half hour earlier. It’s better to get all your sleep at once.
Exercise. It’s conducive to getting a good night’s sleep. But try to avoid working out before bedtime.
Set your body clock. Try to get to bed and wake up at about the same time every day. Get exposure to natural outdoor light during the day.
Avoid late meals. They can make you uncomfortable when you lie down and possibly encourage acid reflux.
Use “white noise.” The sound of a white noise generator, fan or other appliance can drown out disturbances.
Can Sex-Enhancing Drugs Help?
For couples who want to put the spark back in their sex lives, Consumer Reports suggests several tips online at www.ConsumerReportsHealth.org. Consumer Reports also weighs in on the use of sex-enhancing drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. “These drugs can be helpful to some but we urge consumers to be skeptical of a growing belief that all sexual problems can be cured by popping a pill,” says Dr. Orly Avitzur, medical adviser at Consumer Reports. According to Dr. Avitzur, doctors are now prescribing these drugs in response to huge advertising budgets. In 2007, the makers of the three drugs listed above spent $300 million on advertising to consumers.
Should women use Viagra? Consumer Reports recommends trying other measures first for several reasons, noted online in a report about Viagra for women.
Visit www.ConsumerReportsHealth.org for more information about the sex poll, the Consumer Reports sex education quiz, or to read “Healthy Sex: His and Hers.”
www.HealthNewsDigest.com
© Copyright by HealthNewsDigest.com
69mainstreet | sex toys | intimate pleasures
By Anna Magee
Last updated at 1:17 AM on 11th February 2009
Making love could be one of the few pleasures in life that is genuinely good for you, say researchers.
Not only does a healthy sex life boost mood, but there is growing evidence to show it boosts your physical well-being, too - from increasing longevity to reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction and even heart attack.
Only last month, researchers at Nottingham University concluded that men who kept up a regular sex life in their 50s were also at lower risk of developing prostate cancer.
(Conversely, they found 'too much' sexual activity - more than 20 times a month - in the 20s and 30s could increase the risk.)
In fact, the research seems to suggest that men - particularly older men - benefit the most from healthy effects of sex. Feel-good hormones help explain some of the benefits, such as mood-boosting, but the explanation is not always obvious.
But one thing is clear, and this applies to both men and women: you need to be having sex regularly if you don't want to lose the ability.
'Use it or lose it' was the advice given to older men by Finnish scientists recently.
They had followed 1,000 men aged between 55 and 75 for five years and found that those who had sex less than once a week at the start of the study were twice as likely to develop erectile dysfunction (see below) as those who had it at least once a week.
Those who had sex three or more times a week lowered their risk fourfold.
As women get older their oestrogen levels drop, says Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins, consultant gynaecologist at the London Women's Clinic and spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.
This hormone is key to a woman's sexual enjoyment - lower levels can make sex uncomfortable, he explains.
But American research found that menopausal women who had sex every week had oestrogen levels twice as high as their abstaining counterparts.
'Regular sex increases the production of oestrogen,' says Dr Bowen-Simkins. As long as other symptoms, such as dryness, are not a problem or have been treated, having more sex can decrease the risk of vaginal atrophy which can occur with age, he says.
So what else can a regular love life do for your health?
Heart
Sex can be good for your heart. The idea that men are more at risk of a heart attack during love-making is mostly misconception, say experts.
Professor Peter Weisberg, medical director of the British Heart Foundation, says there is no evidence that men who have sex regularly in their 40s, 50s and beyond are at an increased risk of heart attack.
'As far as the heart is concerned, sex is just another form of exercise,' says Dr Graham Jackson, consultant cardiologist at Guy's & St Thomas' Hospital and president of the Sexual Dysfunction Association.
'In fitness terms, it's equivalent is going for a mile-long walk or climbing up and down two flights of stairs.
'If you're physically fit enough for that, there should be no increased risk during sex.'
A study at Queens University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could actually halve the risk of heart attack or stroke.
However, if you are over 50, overweight and unfit, there is a risk to your heart - just as there would be if you suddenly and vigorously took up any form of exercise.
Loving feeing: A study found those who had sex less than once a month had double the risk of dying prematurely than those who had sex twice a week (picture posed)
Prostate
Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in British men, affecting 35,000 a year.
Previous research suggested that greater sexual activity was linked to a higher risk of prostate cancer, but findings from Nottingham University (published in the British Journal Of Urology International) suggest the opposite is true: that increased activity is protective for older men.
This backs up the findings of a major study five years ago by the National Cancer Institute, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
Previous studies have suggested the reduced risk is due to the release of toxins from the prostate gland.
'We can't say for certain that having regular sex can protect older men from prostate cancer, because such studies don't prove the mechanism through which risk is reduced,' says Dr Geoffrey Hackett, consultant urologist at Good Hope Hospital, Sutton Coldfield, and former chairman of the British Society for Sexual Medicine.
'But many men who maintain a regular sex life are also likely to maintain a healthy lifestyle in terms of regular exercise and a better diet. That's likely playing a bigger part in their prostate cancer risk reduction.'
Bones
'Testosterone levels have been found to increase during and after sex,' says GP Dr Sarah Brewer. 'This may provide some protection against male osteoporosis.'
Sexual activity can also protect you against other unwanted changes. Some scientists have linked low levels of sexual activity to structural changes in the penis or testicles which appear to reduce them in size.
'We know that men who don't have regular ejaculations or sexual intercourse have lower levels of testosterone,' says Professor Pierre Bouloux, consultant endocrinologist at University College London and the Royal Free Hospital.
And if your testosterone levels fall and you don't get erections, there is some evidence that the penile tissues can lose some of their elasticity, which in turn could make them appear smaller.
Mood-lift: The neurotransmitter serotonin is the body's key anti-depressant and a major reason people smile after sex
Mood
The evidence suggests that the 'feelgood' effect of making love could be more about chemicals than sexual ability.
'During lovemaking and orgasm, a cocktail of endorphins (the body's natural mood-lifting opiates), neurotransmitters and hormones are released,' says Professor Nadir Farid, consultant endocrinologist and founder of the London Endocrine Clinic.
'Oxytocin, in particular, is a hormone released during and after sex that has been shown to make people more generous towards their partners and can also help induce calm and sleep,' he adds.
Oxytocin is called the 'cuddling' hormone because it's released after just 20 minutes of hugging. Women produce four times as much as men, for whom production is inhibited by the prevalence of the hormone testosterone, which drives libido.
Another key neurotransmitter is serotonin, says Professor Farid. 'Serotonin is the body's key antidepressant chemical and one of the major reasons people smile and feel happy and relaxed after sex.'
Sexually active women in longterm relationships were less likely to be depressed than women who went without sex, according to a study of nearly 300 women by American psychologist Gordon Gallup and published in the Archives Of Sexual Behaviour.
Gallup speculated that semen contains several hormones which may have a mood-boosting effect when they are absorbed through the vaginal wall into the bloodstream.
Immunity
Having more sex might increase immunity from colds and flu.
Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of immunoglobulin A, or IgA, a substance found in saliva and the nasal lining thought to help our immune systems fight colds and flu.
In one study, scientists asked 11 volunteers how often they had had sex over the previous month, then measured levels of IgA in their saliva.
Those who had sex once a week or less had a slight increase, compared with those who abstained; but those who made love more often had 30 per cent higher levels.
Professor Ron Eccles, director of the Common Cold Centre and Healthcare Clinical Trials at Cardiff School of Biosciences, is not convinced, though, that sex itself is the key.
It's known that stress and anxiety can also make IgA levels go down, so according to Professor Eccles any connection between sex and colds may be related to other factors.
Cold cure? Having more sex might increase immunity from colds and flu
Longevity
One of the largest studies on longevity and sex - conducted on Welsh men - found that those who had sex less than once a month had double the risk of dying prematurely than those who had sex twice a week.
'Sexual activity seems to have a protective effect on men's health,' says GP Dr Sarah Brewer. 'This may be linked with the effects of the master sex hormone, DHEA or dehydroepiandroterone, which is made in the adrenal glands and functions as a building block of other hormones such as oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone.
'DHEA levels rise just before orgasm and ejaculation to three times higher than normal, and some claim this is how regular sex can prolong your life.'
Fertility
For people trying to conceive, one of the biggest myths associated with fertility is that refraining from ejaculation boosts sperm mobility - the rate at which individual sperm can move forwards to penetrate an egg for fertilisation, says gynaecologist Dr Gillian Lockwood, medical director of Midlands Fertility Services.
'When sperm is hanging around in the epididymis, the long coiled tube in the back of the testes where sperm is stored, it dies off rapidly,' she says.
'Unless a man has a low sperm count, the more often he has sex, then the better the quality of his sperm.'
Preliminary results of a small study two years ago, by Australian researchers, found that in men whose sperm showed significant DNA damage, daily ejaculation reduced this damage by 12 per cent.
'When it comes to sex for fertility, having sex little and often - at least every other night - is far better than lots of it on infrequent occasions.'
And the bad news
Just when you thought you'd had the green light for more passion, the experts strike a cautionary note. Unbridled romping - particularly with a new partner and without protection - comes with bigger risks, especially for the 'Viagra generation'.
Rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in the over 45s have doubled in the ten years since Viagra was launched, and STI rates are now rising faster in older people than they are in the young.
A study last year from University College London found that those in their late 30s and 40s were least likely to use condoms with new partners.
Other research has found that 12 per cent of sexually active over-50s did not use contraception while also not knowing their partner's sexual history.
'This is a generation that didn't have the open sex education that young people get today,' says Professor Janice Rymer, professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at St Thomas' Hospital London.
'Today's 50-somethings probably know less about sexual protection than many of today's teenagers.'
Most STIs are treatable with antibiotics, said Professor Rhymer, but it's important to be aware that some, such as human papilloma virus (HPV), have been strongly linked to cervical, mouth and other cancers.
How to cope when the mechanics let you down
MEN
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION: This affects 14 per cent of men in northern Europe and can be caused by underlying medical conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, smoking, high cholesterol, prostate surgery, or a psychological cause such as depression.
Repeated episodes of erectile dysfunction (ED) are a key indicator of undiagnosed early cardiovascular disease, warns Dr Graham Jackson.
'Two-thirds of men with erectile dysfunction have early onset coronary heart disease, in which no other symptoms - such as chest pain - are present.'
Studies have shown that erectile dysfunction could precede the onset of heart problems by three years. This is why men with ED should seek medical advice. 'The greatest risk to your heart comes with buying erectile-enhancing drugs without prescription on the black market,' said urologist Dr Geoffrey Hackett.
Treatments for erectile dysfunction include Viagra and Cialis, which have to be taken up to an hour before sex. These work by increasing blood flow by widening the blood vessels, but are effective in only 50 per cent of men. Cialis Once-A-Day, which is prescription-only, allows men to have sex whenever they want, and so restores the spontaneity lost with other treatments.
PREMATURE EJACULATION: Up to 30 per cent of Western men experience some form of this.
Treatments include condoms with numbing agents, anaesthetic sprays for the penis, antidepressant drugs to lower the anxiety that might cause the condition and pelvic floor exercise therapy.
WOMEN
FEMALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION: Up to 43 per cent of women are said to suffer from FSD, including low sex drive and inability to orgasm.
But medical experts question this figure, and the British Medical Journal has accused drug companies of medicalising the natural loss of libido that may come with age or relationship problems.
There are no drug treatments for FSD, though 25 are in development.
MENOPAUSE: The menopause causes a woman's ovaries to slow down and stop producing hormones, including testosterone, for sex drive, and oestrogen, which can reduce lubrication, making sex painful. 'KY Jelly can be effective,' says gynaecologist Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins.
'Or we can prescribe estradiol, a weak oestrogen applied locally through pessaries or creams to help replace moisture and acidity'.
PAIN OR BLEEDING: 'Pain can be a sign of cysts, fibroids and, in very rare cases, ovarian cancer,' says Dr Gillian Lockwood, consultant gynaecologist. Bleeding is usually caused by benign cervical erosion and is easily treatable. Rarely, bleeding during sex can be a sign of cervical cancer. If it happens more than three times, see your GP.'
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Ask Umbra's musical advice for sweeping toxics from your sex life
10 Feb 2009
Before you get down and dirty, there's something you oughta know: Sex toys can contain nasty toxic surprises. In today's Umbra video, two lovebirds sing the praises of alternative playthings, just in time for Valentine's Day.
"Ask Umbra" is the first video series produced by GristTV. Look for new video tips for greening your life from Umbra (nearly) every week.
Watch it on the go! Subscribe to GristTV video podcasts via iTunes.
Check out Babeland's assortment of eco-friendly sex toys!
Q: I was wondering if you could go into the mechanics of shower sex in a college dorm… I’m sure it happens, but I was wondering, are there any disciplinary or even legal risks involved of bringing the opposite sex into your bathroom? Tips are also nice too!
A: I have to say, I don’t think shower sex is really all that great–dorm shower sex, even less so. But to each her own–here are the ten things you should know before sudsing up and getting down in the dorm showers:
1. It may be against the rules. Some schools keep women’s and men’s bathrooms separate, in which case, I assume sex in the showers wouldn’t be encouraged either. But hey, might be a great time to work out those bi-curious tendencies. Check your school’s rules–as far as I can tell, dorm shower sex isn’t illegal as a rule, so it’ll depend on your school’s policies–and then figure out how to break them!
2. Remember protection–condoms and flip-flops. You don’t want to catch an STD or a nasty fungus, so keep extremities covered.
3. Remove your eye makeup. I’m not kidding. If you take nothing else away from this, please remember to wipe off you eyeliner before you hook up in the shower. Yes, even the waterproof kind. Not. Pretty.
4. Do it on off-peak hours. Figure out when your dorm shower sees the least traffic and sneak in then. You’re less likely to get caught, and you’re less likely to gross everyone else out with your cries of passion.
5. Don’t do it on the weekend. This might sound counter-intuitive, but unless you want company in the form of other fun-loving couples or that guy on your floor who gets drunk and pukes all over the bathroom every single Saturday, pick a quiet Monday night over a Saturday.
6. Keep it simple. Now is not the time to try out that sex position you read about in Cosmo. Stick to whatever works based on how much space you have and water flow.
7. Lube up. Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to…lube up with? Yep–the water will actually dry you out, so this is the time to break out the K-Y.
8. For the love of god, keep the soap out of it. If you’re going to be having sex in the shower, don’t lather up your naughty bits first unless you like a little pain–there are some crevices where your fancy body wash doesn’t need to go.
9. Keep towels within arm’s reach. If someone does walk in on you, make sure you have two towels at grabbable distance to cover up with. Your RA does not want to see your bare ass. Unless you’re sexing your RA.
10. Do it for the thrill of it. Don’t expect multiple orgasms when trying out shower sex–you should consider the experiment a success if you make it out of there without foot fungus, a concussion, or having 30 of your floormates see your girls. Shower sex is a novelty, so enjoy it for what it is and don’t put pressure on yourself to have the best sex of your life in there.
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Tags: dorm sex, pillow talk, pillow talk with diana, sex advice, sex in college, sex in the dorm, sex in the shower, sex tips, shower sex, 69mainstreet.com
January 5, 2009 - 3:00 pm, By CC Staff
Have you ever looked at Craigslist Casual Encounters?
Don’t lie.
It’s ok - everyone gets curious to see what and who is out there. Someone who wants you to wear a diaper? Check. Someone who likes big ladies? Check.
Some of us may have even found ourselves lonely on a Saturday night when everyone else was out and figured someone else out there in Craigslist land was lonely too. Just me? Ok…
Anyways, everyone who has perused the Casual Encounters knows there is one thing you can be sure of: lots and lots of peen. On the bed, on the chair, in front of the bathroom mirror; peen, peen, peen. The guys over at Funny or Die know it, and they created this video to show what goes on behind the scenes. I would post it here, but it’s just… wrong. Hilarious, but wrong.
KATHI WOLFE
Friday, January 09, 2009
Gay-penned book explores wisdom that comes with advancing years
Gay author Henry Alford’s new book ‘How to Live: a Search for Wisdom from Old People,’ released Jan. 2, explores the wisdom the author says comes with age. (Photo by John Woo; courtesy of Twelve Books) Gay-penned book explores wisdom that comes with advancing years
Few things are more feared in this culture than growing old. Particularly in the youth-obsessed queer community, where 40 is the new 90.
Yet elders are leading vital, interesting lives. “How to Live: a Search for Wisdom from Old People (While They Are Still on This Earth)” by gay writer Henry Alford, is an illuminating, poignant and amusing collection of interviews with a wide range of older people from playwright Edward Albee to comedian Phyllis Diller to Althea Washington, a Katrina survivor.
Alford, 46, has written for Vanity Fair and other publications. He’s the author of the humor collection “Municipal Bondage” and received a Thurber Prize for “Big Kiss: One Actor’s Desperate Attempt to Claw His Way to the Top.” “The Knowledge,” Alford’s spoof of the idolization of poet W. H. Auden, appears in the new anthology “Disquiet, Please: More Humor Writing from the New Yorker.”
“We humans are one of the few species with an average life span that extends beyond the age at which we can procreate,” Alford writes in “How To Live.” “... Maybe it’s because old folks have something else to offer.”
That something else, Alford believes, is wisdom.
Alford doesn’t think older people have found the answers to the big questions of life (Why do we die? How should all of us live? Why do bad things happen to good people?). He knows that there’s no (definitive or prescriptive) answer to these complex conundrums. “And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly,” Alford quotes from the biblical book of Ecclesiastes. “I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.”
Elders are wise, Alford writes, because “the older we get, the more life experiences we are likely to have — and the more experiences we have, the greater the body of information we have to work from.”
There are some wise 30-somethings, Alford observes, but an 80-year-old is more apt to know “something important about life.”
“How To Live” is a mix of musings and quotations on wisdom as well as mini and more lengthy profiles of both famous and unknown older people.
The most touching parts of “How To Live” are Alford’s conversations with his mother and his stepfather, Will. The couple, who’ve been together more than 30 years, got divorced while Alford was writing the book. His parents “had taken different approaches to aging,” Alford writes. “Mom was … more eager than ever to create a whirlwind of travel, while Will had grown increasingly … sedentary … As my brother once put it ‘Will sleeps 14 hours a day. He’s like a male lion.’”
You’d have to have a heart of stone to be unmoved by Alford’s profile of Althea, a 75-year-old black woman whose husband and home were lost to Katrina.
Alford’s interviews with author and guru Ram Dass, 75, and Albee, 79, are especially revealing. Dass, normally reticent about his sexual orientation, speaks about being gay. When Alford tells him he lives in the West Village, Dass with a “slightly sheepish smile” says, “I used to cruise that area.”
Albee talks movingly about his grief after the death of his long-term partner. “I never thought about being old until my lover Jonathon died,” Albee told Alford. “He and I were together for 35 years … All of a sudden I found myself bereft.”
Other pieces in “How To Live” bring to life a potpourri of elders from vivacious (if self-obsessed) actress Sylvia Miles to Granny D, who at 89 walked across the country to advocate for campaign finance reform.
Some of the interviews (such as the piece on Diller) seem incomplete. Reading them is like being offered an appetizer when you’re hungry for a meal. While the quotes on wisdom were interesting, they didn’t seem well-integrated with the interviews.
But these are minor caveats.
“How To Live” is a must read for anyone interested in living wisely.
tag: gay, books, age, edward albee, henry alfords, 69mainstreet, sex toys
January 16, 2009 - 3:30 pm, By Lauren, University of Michigan
We warned you, and now it’s here: the first episode of CollegeCandy TV. We wanted to come out with a bang (pun intended), so we got down and dirty. So, listen up; it’s time to talk about farts.
Jan 23rd 2009
By Emily McCombs
Jan 23rd 2009
By Emily McCombs
"Can I kiss you?" These words may sound sweet, but most women say the phrase is actually a bad idea. It's no secret that men and women communicate differently. What that means for men is that every once in awhile we accidentally wander into a conversational minefield and find ourselves blown to bits before we even realize what we said wrong. To help you (and us) out, we asked real live women to put together a cheat sheet of verboten phrases and explanations so that you never again end up on the couch over a phrase as seemingly innocuous as "You look fine." (Hint: She wants to look better than "fine.")
January 26, 2009
Gay Ad Network, the category leading gay media network, today announced that its group of gay and lesbian web sites set new traffic records in December. comScore Media Metrix reports that in December, Gay Ad Network's US reach surpassed 1.18 million unique users, which is greater than the unduplicated reach of PlanetOut, Gay.com, Logo Online and Regent Media sites combined. Moreover, Quantcast tracked 4.2 million unique monthly users worldwide on Gay Ad Network sites during this period.
Traffic trend analysis shows that the gay and lesbian online audience is shifting away from gay portals to niche LGBT sites and mainstream social networking services. The current audience metrics and redistribution are helping Gay Ad Network expand its category leadership.
"Marketers are discovering that LGBT consumers are resilient and focused online -- one of the bright spots in a weak economy," said Bob Witeck, CEO of Witeck-Combs Communications, a leading LGBT marketing company. "In research we conducted last year, we saw that gay men in particular are less likely than others to cut back on their discretionary spending. And while not more affluent than others, gay households often are healthy indicators of smart shopping and spending."
Gay Ad Network's recession-resistant audience boasts a high disposable income and tremendous purchasing power. Compared to all other sites in the Gay and Lesbian community category in December 2008, comScore reports that Gay Ad Network reached more people with household income over $100,000 and more households without children.
New advertisers include Johnson & Johnson, Merck, Showtime, Florida Keys, Air New Zealand and MGM Mirage.
Gay Ad Network is one of the first of the now 150+ networks created on Adify. Adify is the pioneer and leading provider of technology to power vertical networks, outsourced services to manage them, and expertise to guide customers to success.
About Gay Ad Network
Gay Ad Network (http://www.gayadnetwork.com) is the category leading gay media network, reaching over 4 million unique users per month. Gay Ad Network is a division of Family Powered Networks LLC, a privately held company that provides advertising and marketing services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender publishers and companies targeting the LGBT market.
About Adify
Adify Corporation (www.adify.com) is the premier vertical ad network management company and an independent, wholly owned subsidiary of Cox TMI Inc., part of Atlanta-based Cox Enterprises, one of the nation's leading media companies and providers of automotive services.
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tags: gay news, gay ad network, 69mainstreet, sex toys, gay, lesbian, lgbt, glbt
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